This past week I had two opportunities show up in my life that really tested me. My family has been looking for a dog and it seemed like everything was falling into place with grace and ease. I was excited and nervous at the same time. I kept praying and asking for guidance on what we should do. While I was a bit nervous, I decided to take the leap and follow the signs I kept getting from spirit. On Friday this week, I received a message that the family decided to keep the dog.
Of course my heart broke hearing the news that was not expected. My first reaction was, “Really God? Why? I thought all signs were leading in this direction and now things shifted. What did I miss?” I started blaming, getting angry at God and questioning all that had transpired.
My coach saw a post of mine and said “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM”. There is something better out there and God knows what the best answer is for your family. He rearranged this for a reason. Look for the evidence and expect that something is coming. Many other people provided thoughtful encouraging words, which was great. But what really caught me in my tracks was “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM JEN”. Many people might not like hearing those words. I didn’t like hearing it, but I GOT THE LESSON. I loved all of the other supporting encouraging words from people, which was SUPER NICE. Those messages didn’t get to the CORE of the issue at hand. I was sulking. I was playing small. I was blaming God. Really? What good is that going to do?
I had another instance happen with a very dear friend where I wanted something, but wasn’t clear on what I was asking for and when I didn’t get the response I was looking for, I shut down. I was already in a “bad place” emotionally and I PLAYED VICTIM AGAIN. She didn’t tell me I was playing the victim, but was DIRECT and HONEST with her feelings and put me in my place. I felt terrible and never meant any harm by what I said. Subconsciously I was trying to get a reaction by not being honest with my own feelings.
This is what stepping into and claiming your power is all about. LEAVING VICTIM MENTALITY BEHIND, no matter what the issue. It could be as small as not getting the answer you were expecting to experiencing a death in the family. There is a series of feelings that need to be felt, however, if you are not honest with yourself and others you pave the way for conflict and victim mentality in your relationships.
How many times are people not really honest with you about how they feel for fear of hurting your feelings? Being nice doesn’t support your higher good.
Did I like hearing the feedback I got? NOPE.
Did I learn from it? YES
Will I be more cautious next time? YOU BET!
I intend to be OPEN, HONEST and DIRECT in my communications with people. I also will keep up my enthusiasm and see the beauty and gift in every circumstance. I will not let myself wallow in my own pain, but rather lift myself up and out. I KNOW and BELIEVE that God is directly my life. It won’t always look like a straight line, but if I continue to have faith, look for the evidence and expect bigger and better things, then something better will come around.
“Playing the victim only blinds you to your own flaws so you can never improve yourself. Self pity is the easiest way to create unilateral misery”