LOVE IS:
Sometimes the simplest question can be the most difficult to answer. My dad used to always say love is a verb, it’s an action, it is not just a feeling. Love is something you freely give to make someone feel special without expecting anything else in return.
How many times do we often put conditions on our love without realizing it? We want our kids to respect us and do what we say. We want our partners to meet our needs. We want our parents to accept our choices. When someone doesn’t respond in the way we would like, it can be easy to get triggered or feel bad. We have ALL done it.
The truth of the matter is that STRENGTH in love comes from being unconditional in our giving and not expecting anything from anyone in return. It is truly being responsible for our own happiness. Love can be described in so many ways. I polled a bunch of people to ask them their definition of love and here are some answers
LOVE IS
– Vulnerable – Allowing someone to see your flaws and imperfections with no judgment
– Effort – Putting in the time, energy and focused effort to show how much you care
– Respect – Honoring and respecting each other’s beliefs, dreams, fears, faults and failures
– Accepting – Not trying to change the other person, allow them the freedom to choose for themselves
– Compatible – Enjoying fun things to do together
– Great Conversation – Sharing deep intimate thoughts and moments together
– Growing – Learning from mistakes, taking personal responsibility and growing independently together
– Inspiring – Leading by example and Inspiring me to grow into a better version of myself
– Patience – Trusting that time will heal
– Kindness – Giving grace and forgiveness at all time
– Listening – Meeting someone where they are at and paying attention to their needs
– Living – Knowing each other’s language of love and living it
If you asked a child love might look like:
– coloring a picture with me
– making my favorite meal or taking me to my favorite restaurant
– tucking me into bed at night
– Making my lunch for school
– Asking me how my day was or helping me with my homework
– Playing ball with me
– Baking cookies together
It seems easy to outline these items above, however, I also want to share some tough times when it can be hard to show up in unconditional love
– accepting your loved one when they make a poor choice and not judging them for it
– knowing your kid appreciates you even though you don’t expect him to say it
– knowing your partner had a busy day and not seeking attention from him to brighten your day
– not worrying about feeling the need for validation when you send a text to your partner
– trusting your loved one when they make a decision that is different than what you would have chosen
– believing your partner will step up to the plate without you nagging him about how to do it
– letting go of control of how you believe something should be done
– patience in letting your kid make his own mistakes as opposed to saving him or telling him what to do
These are just a handful of situations where it can feel harder to show up in love and kindness. Yes, we want to be there for our loved ones, BUT when their actions or choices trigger us, this is an opportunity for us to dig deeper and see how we can show up in more and more love.
LOVE changes people. LOVE inspires people. LOVE IS what makes the world a better place.