Last month we talked about how transformation begins in the body, and this month I want to dive deeper into how we can experience more of what life has to offer as well as understand what can get in the way of us experiencing our desires. Sometimes we sit on the sidelines and wait for the perfect timing or the perfect answer and end up letting life pass us by rather than experience it. Let me share with you a couple of stories that bring a new perspective to what stops us from really being in our body and experiencing life.
In the book Red Hot and Holy, author Sera Beak talks about her personal spiritual journey. She had a PHD in philosophy, studied a variety of religions, and was looking for the proof somewhere on who had “the right answer” when it came to spirituality. She researched, studied, took courses, interviewed people and what she ended up realizing was, there is NO PROOF! Yep. You can’t find the truth, the perfect solution or the answer written anywhere. You must experience spirituality for yourself she found. It proved to be a very personal journey for each individual.
So what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing it isn’t about getting another degree or waiting for things to show up in your life. It is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer.
How many of us spend our lives trying to prove a point or prove someone else wrong? Or we do not want to take a risk because we can’t prove it is going to work? We need to surrender the ego and the need to know, and allow ourselves to feel what our heart is guiding us to do. This is true of all aspects of our lives. We all have societal, cultural, religious and familial belief structures that have been passed down that define our value and belief systems. We are taught that if it’s not in alignment with our belief system, then it is WRONG. It is hard to think that some things your faith or family taught you, are not really the truth. In fact, it is downright terrifying for many to think that.
Let me use my personal story as an example. I was taught that I had to always go to the bible to find PROOF of God’s message. There was a point in my journey where I questioned whether things showing up were from God or the Devil. Trust me when I say, I can understand if you feel the same way. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and my faith was the foundation of everything. If I listened to outside voices, I would get confused. Others would chastise me and tell me how wrong I was to think or believe new ideas showing up for me. There is one day I remember meeting two very lovely women and could feel their positive energy. Another woman approached me and told me to stay away from “those people”. Some faiths believe God warns us to stay away from psychic mediums because they are from the devil or a negative source. I remember going to the chapel to pray and asked for guidance. My thinking mind went home to research this PROOF in the bible for myself. I didn’t want to make the WRONG choice. A couple hours later a different friend of mine recommended that I meet with someone. It happened to be one of those ladies. I thank God for answering my prayers and it was in that moment, I KNEW to trust my heart and to STOP LOOKING for proof outside of myself. I didn’t need to find written proof anywhere and that God could answer my prayers in many different ways. I like to say that my “faith” or (belief system) held me back and yet my “faith” and (belief in a higher power) pulled me through.
As you see from my story, there is conflict here for many women. But what is important for women to understand is the need to know, the need to control our relationships and outcomes, may be what holds many of us back from true connection. This mindset issues will impact your romantic relationships. Do you ever find yourself looking for proof if your partner is “the one”? Or have you ever started a fight because your partner did not meet your expectations? Ever you ever felt like your intuition told you one thing, but logic, friends or family told you to doubt? This back and forth, looking for proof and approval outside of ourselves, may be the exact reason why we find certain types of relationships challenging.